I remember having a conversation with my grandpa when I was really young about geography. It was fun and lighthearted and then country of Japan came up. My grandpa’s demeanor immediately shifted and he uttered something about “those damn Japs.” My little brain and heart knew intuitively that something was off, and was like whoa gramps, thats not cool… what in the world is this all about?
Fast forward 20 years from that incident. I’m standing on a bunker’s roof staring out over the vast beautiful crystal clear ocean and the black sands of Iwo Jima. For anyone who hasn’t stepped foot on that Island, I’ll try to paint the best picture I can. It’s very small. The beach is wide and expansive, and it gently slopes to a grassy hillside. The beach is visible from all angles above it. There is no cover, no hiding, no way to step foot on that island without being seen.
Now imagine being on a Navel ship just off shore waiting your turn to storm the beach, watching your fellow American soldiers, sailors, and Marines perish as the Japanese army rains down fire from machine guns above nestled all along the hillside.
Roughly 7,000 Americans were killed and over 19,000 more were injured on Iwo Jima in February and March of 1945 during the WWII invasion. The fighting was gruesome, bloody, horrific. My grandfather was one of the lucky ones to survive that battle.
So when I hear the echo of my grandpa’s voice, I hear his pain and his trauma and truly cannot fathom what darkness he experienced from that event. Does it make his comment right? No. I’m not justifying it. But I can understand it better now.
Traumas like these can imprint thoughts and beliefs on our subconscious mind, like a shadow of our true selves. A hidden entity in its own little realm that’s buried so deep we don’t recognize we even have it; yet, those unconscious beliefs are what drive our conscious behavior. Essentially, we buy the lie and make it our “truth.” In my grandpa’s case, it might look something like this:
Subconscious belief: The Japanese are evil
Conscious behavior: Generalized racist comments towards Japanese people. Avoiding contact or association with Japan or Japanese people.
I start with this example because it’s pretty obvious and most people can see how this works. But now let’s unpack something a little more subtle. Maybe it’s not a huge traumatic event, but one that affects us nonetheless, or perhaps over time we experience a lot of micro-traumas….or you are surrounded by people who hold certain limiting thoughts and beliefs and you subconsciously buy them as your own.
Imagine being 4 years old and spilling a cup of milk on the table and you hear “how could you do that?! Ugh, you’re so clumsy!” Now the scenario might look like this:
Subconscious belief: I’m clumsy
Conscious behavior: Anxiety and panic attacks each time you try to play sports. Tripping or falling more than normal. Avoidance of certain activities that involve coordination. Finding yourself judging those who excel at athletics.
Because the thing is, your ego builds up an incredible support system for you to protect that “truth” at all cost. So your behavior, life events, and perceptions of others will continue to be shaped by this “truth.” Your world is now viewed through the lens of a lie. And, as Carl Jung so eloquently stated, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
If these examples didn’t resonate with you, lets look at a few more. What if these are the lies we buy?:
I’m not worthy
Men are misogynists
Love is conditional
Perhaps If your subconscious is driven by the “truth” that you are not worthy, then no matter how much you consciously want to land your dream job, or meet the love of your life, or make more money, your ego will continue to protect you, essentially sabotaging those goals.
If we subconsciously believe that all men are misogynists, then it might not matter if a wonderful man comes into your life and treats you with kindness, compassion, and unconditional love- the relationship will likely be riddled with tension and unease because your ego will continue to protect your “truth.”
If you buy the belief that love is conditional then maybe it will show up as people-pleasing behavior, attachment issues, or the perception that people don’t love you if they don’t reciprocate a kind gesture or gift.
Each one of these “lies” that we buy as our “truth” distort our view of others and the world. And not only that, but they can hold us back from ever reaching our full potential as the amazing incredible beings we can be. I truly believe that we are limitless. That we as human beings have barely tapped into the greatness that is possible. In order to reach that greatness and our highest selves though, we have to do the work to lift this lens of lies, to dive deep within, and to bring the shadows to light.
So…you might be asking, how do I even know what my unconscious beliefs are? Where do I start? How can I heal? Stay tuned for the next post about Shadow work…..
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